Showing vs. Telling is a huge topic in the writing world. No self respecting blog can be considered a writing blog until this has come up in some way. I’ve read these articles till I know the whole subject backwards and forwards, and now I offer my own question. When does it really matter? Here’s a for instance:
“She hated doing laundry.”
“Work pants. Bathroom towels. Under shirts. She folded them all with the self-discipline of a monk. She folded them right out of the dryer, putting each item away as soon as it was folded, and did not hesitate until she was almost done. That was when she came to the part she hated. The jumble of little stuff that needed an impossible amount of sorting, matching, folding and everything else you had to do with laundry. The socks had to be seperated his and hers at the very least. Those wash rags needed rolled up and placed in order of color in the appropriate bathroom drawer.
She hated the order. She hated the little things.”
If I asked you which one was better, that would be too easy. Of course the second one is better. Of course it shows more. It tells us a lot about the laundry lady. We know that for some reason her house is very organized, and she herself is not organized. We know what part of laundry she doesn’t like. We can feel tension even though it’s a quiet moment. There’s a lot packed into this paragraph, even though it’s just laundry.
But did it matter? If the story had nothing to do with laundry, would this still have been a good scene to have?
What do you think?
Jul 27, 2010 @ 13:11:47
It would depend, I think, on where it fell in the story. Details should do at least on of two things – be important to the greater story and/or help build character. This definitely gives the reader a greater insight into the lady doing the laundry. Her almost obsessive need for environmental order could very well play a big part if the writer later throws her into a very chaotic environment.
Jul 27, 2010 @ 14:19:04
Thank you for that. I sort of wonder what sort of chaos would be enough to change her. Would she budge at all if thrown into a strange world, or would she refuse to accept any of it at all?
Maybe a story packed full of details like that isn’t such a bad idea.
Jul 27, 2010 @ 15:33:33
I personally enjoy descriptions because for me yes, every moment has it’s hidden amazement and by digging deep you can feel a sense of that.
Food for thought.
You have an interesting blog =) Keep Updating!
Ruku x
http://rukutaneja.wordpress.com/
Jul 27, 2010 @ 16:02:12
I think the reader would feel closer to the character with whom the reader had entered into the labor and irritation of folding the laundry. The simple statement that “she hated doing laundry” may be better, however, if the longer paragraph interrupts a more important struggle going on at the same time. But then, on the other hand, even the statement “she hated doing laundry” might be better omitted. It all depends upon the “whole” passage.
Okay, kick me out of here. I get it. All other questions excluded, the second paragraph is FAR superior. Thank you, amkuska. I know where I can learn more about writing. I will return.
Jul 27, 2010 @ 21:39:01
I think a mix of the two would be best. Some times you can give too much detail. You don’t need to show us what she’s doing leading up to where the point of the paragraph is.
“She didn’t hate doing the laundry. It was the jumble of little stuff that needed an impossible amount of sorting, and matching. The socks had to be separated into his and hers at the very least. The wash rags needed rolled up and placed in order of color in the appropriate bathroom drawer. Those nit-picky details and order are what she hated”
This still shows us what’s going on, how she feels and what kind of person she is with out bogging the paragraph down with details. IMO anyway.
Jul 29, 2010 @ 12:43:36
Yes, which one is used does depend on where and how it’s used in the scene. But I think what you are getting at, though, is a characterization issue. There’s much more information in the second example and it hints at broader issues that can be expanded on.
Jul 29, 2010 @ 13:09:21
If you are near the beginning of a story, the longer version works to build up the character. If it is later in the story, then the shorter version works.
Depends if doing laundry is important, or if her hating it is important.
Also, the short version works because a reader who also hates laundry can add their own laundry-hate experiences and understand, rather than having to read through all the detail of HER hating laundry.
I hate laundry, personally. I can relate. 🙂
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