Author Update

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The first third of my novel is officially FINISHED!!! I have edited and corrected and perfected all the way up to Elizabeth’s discovery of unicorns. I even managed to get just a little bit farther! The meeting of Joseph Thunderhead can finally be written! WOOOO!!!!

Now she’s still bopping back and forth on whether she believes in unicorns 100%, but that won’t come until she actually sees a single-horned beast standing before her. That’ll be about mid-book. ^^

The middle of the book consists of her stay in a unicorn boot camp, and should be fun and exciting to write. I’m hoping for smooth sailing from here on out!

Must…Resist….

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Work on my story has come to an absolute stand still. All my usual tricks for getting through a difficult scene have failed me, and I find myself writing this blog post just to avoid working on it. (How’s that for procrastination?)

Don’t let procrastination fool you though. It’s not as if I don’t try. I open up my WIP every morning and evening without fail, and scroll straight to that difficult scene. I stare at it, scratch my head, and wait for inspiration. Nothing. I get out a notebook, and start asking questions about the scene. Nothing. I go back to the scene before, and check to see if maybe I got off track. Still nothing.

This is usually the point where I call up my muse, and have a rather long discussion with her about The Issue. We’re not calling it writer’s block. I never have writer’s block.

“I can’t figure out this scene,” I complain as soon as she appears in a sprinkle of fairy dust and the obligary tinkle of bells. “Elizabeth is supposed to meet a unicorn who ‘discovers’ her. She can’t do that with her mom right there. Can she?”

“I’m bored of this story,” my muse says, flopping down on the chair next to me. “I’ve got this new idea. I’m going to call it, Confessions of an Alchoholic Werewolf.”

I try not to look interested, but come on, what isn’t better than working on a difficult scene?

“He works in a dog grooming shop, cause thats the only work he can get. He starts hearing rumors of werewolves moving into his territory, a known peace zone. He’s got to stop them, but without being discovered. He–”

“I do enough dog grooming at work. I don’t want to write a story about it.”

My muse bats her eyes, all innocent. “It’s not about dog grooming. It’s about werewolves.”

I get the drift, but I’m not backing down. “I’ll type up everything you say and put it in my idea box, but only if you help me with this scene.”

My muse just smiles. “You’ll type it up anyway,” she says, and disappears in a poof of smoke.

You see what I have to put up with? I’ve written the outlines for three new story lines and stuffed them in my “hold” box. I’ve gotten no help on my real story at all.

But an alchoholic werewolf would make an interesting character, don’t you think?

Hmmm…

Author Update

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I am officially one third of the way through my almost-final edit of my novel, Life of a Suburban Unicorn. Chapter five is about to culminate with Elizabeth discovering the truth about unicorns, and I find myself continously rewriting it. The problem? I’m trying to deal with uni-corny-ness.

Mention the word unicorn anywhere about anything and your credibility automatically goes down a peg or two. I know the second the word “unicorn” pops up in my story people are going to start thinking of Zev as a poofy white creature with a rainbow tail.

I need edgy. I need wild. I need you to take me seriously, dang it!

Author Update

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Life of a Suburban Unicorn, my current work in progress, is almost done. Unlike Rex Stoute, my writing doesn’t come out good the first draft, or even first several drafts. I start out with incoherent, upgrade to sensible but bad, and comb through it 476 times looking for errors before I call it done. By this time I hate it with a passion, and put it away until it has been so long since I’ve looked at it, I don’t even remember writing it. When I reread it, I’m amazed at the sheer beauty of the writing inside, and can’t imagine why I didn’t rush out immediately and try to publish it.

I believe I’m on the 475th revision, mostly due to this live journal page here. If you’ve read Twilight, you’ll enjoy reading the sporking of the book, and others in the series. Yes, even if you liked Twilight. In fact, you might get more out of it.

I’ve never read the rest of the series, mostly because I got New Moon and put it down unread after the first three chapters. I loved Twilight however, so when my friend sent me the Sporking of Twilight, I went in prepared to defend it to the death.

I also realized, after reading it and comparing the observations of the critic to my copy of Twilight…well…it’s accurate. All these flaws really are in this best selling novel. I pictured my own novel being ripped apart in the same way, hustled over to my manuscript, popped it open, and started asking questions. Would this person really say that? What’s really going on here? Is this accurate?

So far I’ve only double checked two chapters of my novel, but I can see the improvements already. I can’t wait to get to the juicy stuff.

That’s it for now. Tomorrow: Query letters!